Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I’d Rather Have the Flu

Ok, frankly I am getting tired of feeling sick and whiny, I do not remember the last day I felt good, and Honestly, if I wasn't married to the most wonderful husband God had picked out for me (isn't it great when you have to quantify that statement because your readers would argue the best man in the world statement because they all have wonderful husbands too?) I wouldn't be able to smile, it makes my head hurt worse.


I do not remember the pain being this relentless for this long since I was in my early teens perhaps about 14ish maybe 15 right about the time I had my first Spinal Tap, so right about the time my pressures started going haywire…just a hypothetical here, but my guess, that's probably about the time the Chiari started acting up but it was likely just a Chiari Zero then, and NEVER would have been caught all those years ago, so the PTC literally may have saved my life…either way, I am getting tired of being miserable and cranky all the time… All I want is a HUG and a Pillow and a shoulder to cry on, someone who understands…I have prayed, I have cried out and I have begged and PLEADED with God to take this away, OH Please, I am so sick and tired of People being Cliché, God will never give you more than you can handle, HA, yes he does, if he didn't, you would NEVER call on him…HE never said he wouldn't give you more than you could handle…He said "My Grace is Sufficient" He Said " Take Joy in your Suffering" HE SAYS, " I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me Strength" Ok, that one is the closest one I can fall back on during my trials and actually say Hey it's in the word…But I can't find a verse that says You won't give me more than I can handle… at least not in my King James Bible…I have looked… I believe he allows us to go through those trials as far as we can trust him to lead us, for him to strengthen us….when we have learned to lean FULLY on him, those trials, stay put or stop for a while, when we are ready, they begin or new ones begin again….without tests, there is no testimony.

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