Tuesday, December 30, 2008

That went over like a lead balloon

Well, I had my appointment yesterday.
I was hoping for answers, I was disappointed, I got NONE.

I am changing over to the neurologist in their office, I Love my rehab doctor, he is so honest with me, we know where we stand with whats going on. I am discouraged though that the MRI was clear, well, it showed swelling, DUH, I can see that much, lol.

They recommeded a doppler, so we had that run immediately, it showed nothing.

I am still in lots and lots and lots of pain. No answers isn't helping with that though.
I am tired all the time and the suffering just makes it harder.
I am praying we get the medicaid without questions so I can deal with that for my Feb appointments.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Been SO Busy

We had a play date this weekend, Lauren had a blast.

We had Christmas with family, I am tired, it was good, but overwhelming. My body rebelled and I have been in almost constant pain since.

Tomorrow I see the Rehab doctor. I have LOTS of questions for him. Hope he has time to answer them.

I have been tired and in a lot of pain for the last week or so, I do not know what to expect next. My swelling has gone down significantly with the prednisone, but it didn't help with the pain or anything else, and it caused mood swings that scared my family.

Church is amazing, I feel so at home here.

Lauren had a blast at her party, there were 4 other girls there, they played really well together but she has a real bond with the one that is closest to her age, its pretty remarkable. I am amazed.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


A friend of mine's spouse was accused of doing something very wrong, while he did as accused, things are not as they seem.

We were told the other side of the story today in church, I am heartbroken for this family. My prayers go out to them.

Her husband has been charged with a five year felony for being unable to deliver a product it made front page news in our little town newspaper. The church is standing behind them because they know the whole situation, but it just sucks that this had to happen to them.

His business has already suffered because the manufacturer he used went under, hence the failure to deliver charges, and now, he is going through these struggles. His wife was the first friend I made in this church, so I truly feel for them. I do not feel that people should just walk away from their obligations in any way, but at times, it isn't always clear cut like that.

Please join me in prayer for this family, that God will bless them in their finances to allow him to get the financing to finish up these contracts and be done with these customers that have had these issues. Also I ask that God will allow him customers in the future that realize that Michigan is in a VERY bad economic downturn that does not just affect the customer but also the businesses.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


This has been a rough couple of days. I need to admit it openly because if I don't, when I look back, I will have forgotten the tough times.

We got a beautiful foot of snow Friday morning, I tried to be my old self and shovel just a little, I knew I couldn't do it, but I had to try. I did not hear back on the library job I am PERFECTLY qualified to do. The depression sinks in. The cane got in the way again.

Its hard to say the least. The pain today has been horrendous, it was bad yesterday too, almost like a one step forward two steps back process.

I did see some light in my dim day, I made a batch of Peppermint Crunch Fudge. It tastes GREAT. Life has been extremely overwhelming. Its been Hard. I see things around me and sometimes it just speeds around in circles making me dizzy.

I am tired and I can't keep up. I think the hardest part is that its been nearly a year now, and its very overwhelming to not be normal. I miss playing with my daughter, I miss taking baths, I miss sitting on the floor, I miss being me.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Well, I Didn't Hear back on the job, Oh well

We are snowed in this morning, The entire lower part of Michigan is pretty much snowed in. Its beautiful (so long as you are Inside and not out)

We are averaging about an inch of snow an hour right now, its beautiful, blowing snow, no rain mixed in up here. Lauren is not blessed with a snowday however, she has schoolwork to finish before we bake her angel cookies for her Sunday School Christmas Party.

Todays ToDo List:
Make a Pot of Chili for Lunch/Dinner
Make 2 Ingredient Fudge For The Family gatherings next week
Make Chocolate Covered Cherry mice For Family coming tomorrow if the roads are plowed in time. (since the snow should be done today they probably will be)
Make about 18 Sugar cookie angels for Lauren's Sunday School Class and decorate them,

Obviously this list is not in order, the Chili is first, but the Cookies are second since I will be using the leftover frosting for a half a batch of fudge, I am making 3 batches of fudge, 1 Chocolate, 1 Peanut Butter, and 1 Peppermint Crunch (and an extra half a batch of peppermint crunch for me)

Next Wednesday I will make a sugar cookie wreath for my mother in law since Chris got laid off gifts will be very cheap this year. We will likely throw in a pretty jar of loose leaf teas if I can find a nice brand for a nice price, to go with it before then.

Monday, December 15, 2008

When All Looks Lost, Remember that He who Created it doesn't need a compass

Well things are going rather groggily along.
The topamax is definitely controlling the migraines, how can I tell this will daily still mind numbing headaches? well there are definitely differences in the headaches I have now and the ones I was having before, I hate to say this but I was likely having PTC, CHIARI and Migraines all wrapped up into one day making my days a lot worse. I am more tired now and food is repulsive but thats all good because I am definitely seeing some relief albeit not much.

I scheduled my mri, its tomorrow at 1:30, I have another interview at the school tomorrow too, this isn't a job I applied for though, I have LOTS of experience, but the hours didn't work for my schedule, but she called me, as she had some schedule changes. See God provides.

After that I changed my first drs appointment of the year to make it a tad easier than fighting the medicaid battle in the first 6 days of the year. Dh is still job hunting without much success.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Lets play catch up

Lets try again :-) this time I won't hit enter BEFORE I type.

Thank goodness for Edit buttons.

Its Thursday, I am exhausted, its been a busy week and today is yet another busy day.
As for Tuesdays post, a little more detail.

I went to the Rheumatologist in the morning, my ANA and ESR blood tests were still high all other lupus bloodwork came back negative. She was suprised thinking maybe the high ANA the first time was a fluke, the swelling and nerve issues are still really bothering me.

We are trying prednisone and going to go for an MRI after I get it scheduled I will call today.

After that I had an interview, I do not feel all that confident, I am not a marketing person and thats what this job is.

Then I went SHOPPING. I came home with $150 worth of groceries (plus a HUGE bag of free Buffalo from the inlaws)
We have a Huge selection at least for dinners, lunches are a bit trickier, and I still need to shop for breakfast and a few select ingredients.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

interview went ok, not holding my breath, Drs appointment, not so hot

Well, we are off to yet ANOTHER MRI, hmm, that makes, what 1 spine, 3 brain, 1 knee, and 1 ankle, hmm, altogether, 6 this YEAR.

I am also going on 90 days of prednisone (I believe its 90 days) if all else fails we are going invasive with a muscle and nerve biopsy.

Monday, December 8, 2008

My head hurts

Well, I have been on Topamax 3 days, I am not sure how it does at preventing the headaches but its not helped yet, but its only been THREE days, I have to give it time, I know it has to build in the system to work right.

In other news, tomottow will be Menu Plan day as I have to go grocery shopping, I have No earthly clue what I am buying since I am going to Aldi in the morning, we shall see what we come home with to see whats for meals.

Its been interesting having Chris home, complicated a bit too since, Well, uhm, I don't normally make REAL lunches here...and he is ALWAYS hungry.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Busy week

Well its been totally chaotic this week. Monday Chris was laid off, Tuesday he went in to Michigan works for Unemployment, then we had my Neuro-opthalmologist appointment, he released me to a regular opthalmologist.
Wednesday, We STAYED HOME.
Thursday, He had an appointment at Michigan works then I had an appointment to see my Counselor there too, I had to drop off paperwork that was missing.
Friday, Low and behold my comp card came in and I was BACK to MI works yet again.
When I got back home, we got another call, I got an interview Tuesday for workstudy, so I am hoping I can get that job.

Last night, I got hit with some of the worst pain in the world. I was in agony.

Monday, December 1, 2008

And here we go to meet MARVIN

M ichigan's A utomated R esponse V oice I nteractive N etwork
Chris got laid off this week, he will get two weeks pay as well as his unemployment, we have insurance through the month and everything will be ok but tight

God is Mighty and in conrol of everything.