Thursday, January 29, 2009

not a good idea

It is NOT a good idea to stretch your medicines to make them last longer.
I have THREE yes, just 3 muscle relaxant pills left to last until I see my doctor again on Tuesday, then I have to come up with the money to pay for a refill that just takes the edge off the pain, but thats another post.

Since I have been having mega amounts of pain after my classes I had decided I was going to save those last three for my class days because I can't handle those days without them...tonight I will take one, but in the meantime I hurt really bad and may not make it through class in the first place. Had I not skipped the doeses when I wasn't in class, I would be out by now anyhow, so I would still be in this much intense pain.

Hopefully she has answers for me when I get there Tuesday morning.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

worn out

I am to the point I am not sure how much more I can take.
Pain, Maximum allotment for lifetime
snow, We, have exceeded my winters allotment of snow and winter is only 1/3 over
Cold, my house says its 73, I don't believe it, its usually set to 65, but I am FREEZING
Nausea, headaches, diziness, Had enough

Altogether I have just plain had enough.
I need disability, I need to not worry if all I do is homeschool Lauren and sleep, right now thats about all the energy I have.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I guess it wasn't meant to be

But God has much wiser plans, Right now, I just wish I knew what they were :-)

In a way I think its good that I didn't get the job, my pain has been completely unbelievable this last week and I am absolutely in shock at how bad its been, I never expected it to make me have trouble sitting for mere minutes or standing that long either. My still time has been limited to less than a half hour without multiple ups and downs and wiggles and the pain is just rediculous.

I am learning lots in school, unfortunately now I doubt I would get a full time job after graduation without some major changes in my health, its been that bad.

In my Biology class I am actually above average, YAY.
In my other classes we havent gotten grades yet.

Next week is the first time to call the attorney about disability, I will talk to my Rheumatologist about it Tuesday.

Outside of pain, life has been busy, Lauren had a playdate with a family from church, I am so grateful for them, this family is going through lots of struggles too and I feel so bad for them, but Gods grace is sufficient for us both. Her mom and I have become good friends and Lauren and Faith are as close as I have ever seen two little girls, its amazing. I love seeing them together.

Chris has an interview today.

And thats where our family stands this week, oh and we may be adding some school curriculum for Lauren, I saw a handwriting program up close and really liked it, so we shall see.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My interview went well

I am still listed as being in the running for the job, I REALLY want this job.

My head has hurt really bad this week, but I think its just been overwhelmed by school.
I am studying hard, but not as hard as Chris, My classes arent as overwhelming, or I dont need to stress over them as much, not quite sure which.

I am excited and happy.

Please pray though, my friends son was hit by a car on Sunday and is in really rough shape he is 5 years old and while he is expected to have a full recovery it will be a long road for him.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Happy Dance

I have an Interview, I have an interview. I have been so stressed out, its cold here and things have been rather dreary....but I am so excited about this interview, I have been trying to get into this company for a long time but the funny part, I don't even know what position I am interviewing for.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I am tired of hurting

The pain has been out of control for too long, I am tired and weak and feel totally drained, and to top it off, today, our furnace went out...praise God we had an extended warranty on the house because it only cost us $50 to get heat again, but waking up to 55 degrees this morning didn't help me much.

Tomorrow I go in and try to get some information on our medicaid coverage, My worker has me very frustrated and I don't know what else to do. Emotionally I can't handle being ignored, its very stressful to me and with all else going on...its just too much.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

What? School on a Saturday?

This week has been a bit hectic, not uncommon for us lately. We had things going on Wednesday and Friday, so Lauren did not do real school those two days, she did basic things but we did not sit down and do school.

Well since we homeschool, we are using a calendar to count our days, in Michigan there is no reporting, so I just like to keep track of what we do with a sticker chart for my peace of mind (and I save almost all her work) anyhow, she wanted to put a sticker on her calendar, to do that, she needed to do school, so she did her daily amount of work to earn a sticker and got a Saturday sticker.

I was amazed that she wanted to do school at all most days its like pulling teeth to get her to do what is required let alone offer to do it of her own volition.

It felt good.

I have been feeling really rundown lately and the extra 6 inches of snow in two days isn't helping my aching body at all. My leg has required a hand to help guide it into place too much and the pain is rediculous.
I don't know how much longer I can deal with this, its been hard, but is getting harder by the day.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Thats when my sticker expires, I am hoping to be walking before that, the pain has been rediculous lately and I have contacted an old friend about applying for disability this is beyond rediculous.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Status Permanent

Ok, I don't know whether to laugh or cry, I am both happy and sad at this momentous occasion.

Today I got the paperwork for my newest handicap sticker before the current one expires (we didn't actually pick up the sticker because secretary of state had about a million people inside). My disability is now listed as Permanent Nerve Damage with paralysis.
I will now get a blue sticker, and in June we will likely go for a plate. I feel better knowing that its not going to get better, its kind of a relief, not that it wont improve, but at least now I am not waiting for it to improve, I am adjusting to a new normal and learning how to do things within the scope of my limitations.

I was a bit sad though, since its permanent, I know it may never heal beyond where it is, and all I will be able to do is learn to live with it. I am glad I am seeing a rehab doc since they do help you adjust to the differences. I will now be seeing the neurologist in his office as well, that will help immensely since almost all of my doctors will now be in one place, or at least they will all be sending the referrals and reports to the same place.