My life has been a rollercoaster ride lately, and there are many days I whine and complain, my family gets the brunt of it, my blog gets most of the rest and a few REALLY trusted friends who have IH and understand what I go through seem to help with the rest.
Today though when I was checking up on my IH blogs, God really tugged at my heart, there are several "Christians" with this disease who really seem to be having a tough time yet they are definitely getting more care than I have gotten but that is neither here nor there, this is not about me, this is about the choice we make. I CHOOSE to function with or without daily pain. Some days, I Can not fully function, yes, I am down to about 4 good hours per day, but you know what, I take full advantage of those four hours.
Today, I went to church, then my 4 hours were up, I should have come home, taken a nap and my day would have been over, but no, I chose to push a little, because my family needs me, If I suffer a little, yes, I pay for it later, but someone shared a story called "The Spoon Theory" a few weeks ago, and it so applies to our daily lives, yes, it was written for Lupus, but I see it so profoundly in IH my, daily life is about how "the spoon theory works" today I borrowed spoons to make Hubby happy.
You see, He and I are both Amateur Radio Operators, Hams, I got my tech license the same day he got his Extra, it was a challenge I set to him, and he definitely held his end, now I don't use the radio, I help with set ups, and I liked going to the events before IH started getting really bad, but I still was always struggling in the heat and miserable, but it was family time and something we did.
Today was Pre-Field day at Metro-Beach, our local state park, we went out after church spent roughly an hour before the storms hit, and boy did they hit hard, now those with IH know that storms DO not agree with our heads, but as a wife, it is a servants heart I CHOSE to spend this time with him. We then stopped for ice cream on the way home as a treat for going out, it was a nice sweet treat for my sweetheart. We got home about 6pm, overall, I was up for about 5 extra hours that my body really struggled to deal with. My point, I chose to do things with my family, yes it rained, YES, My head still went through the roof, NO, I do not have pain meds, but what I do have, is a family who loves me and I have the joy of the time I spent with them. I chose not to complain, Chris could see how much pain I was in, but he knows that these activities are TRUE labors of love. We do things for each other because We can.
SO quit complaining about what you CAN'T do, and start DOING what you can. Realize that you have to do things when you are in pain, this is your life now, its not going to change, Yes, God MAY choose to heal you, but then again, this may be like Paul's THORN in the Flesh, and something you have to deal with, so learn to accept it, you are allowed to have days where that is a struggle, but start counting those blessings, and I promise this ride will, yes it REALLY will get easier.