Friday, June 4, 2010

Down but not out, Overwhelmed but not Hopeless

This has been a HARD two weeks. Back up…I do not even remember when I posted last, and my head hurts too much to go look.

My eyes hurt, I was SUPPOSED to schedule an eye appointment, and if certain people read this I will get scolded big time, I guess it is a mixed blessing that I have been praying for them because they have been so sick lately too? Hmm, not quite sure how that works…anyhow, Both of my eyes are causing me Major pain, I would love to say its cause I ran out of meds, but, that would not take effect today since, oh, I won't technically be out til tomorrow, lol, I took the last one this morning, and I am going to Kroger in the morning to fill the script.

May 25th, Chris and I celebrated 9 years of Marriage, it was a rough day, we realized out of 9 years I have been healthy less than 2, that was a very tough pill to swallow, I came out of remission almost as soon as we got married and have been in various levels of pain ever since, the last 4 years now have been the hardest though…its hard to believe it's been 4 years that it's been so bad nonstop though, even harder to believe I waited a full year before I called the doc thinking it was just a phase and would pass, lol. Man was that a dumb decision…especially since it had been a growing problem for the previous several years.

Anyhow… May 27th I saw Dr. Turner, I have to admit I left a little more than frustrated, I was overwhelmed I needed to ask questions and I didn't get to because he had medical students and was overbooked and very overwhelmed himself…I left angry and frustrated with nothing more than a new script. It got filled and I see him in July…Let me tell you, next appointment BETTER not be rushed or HE will not hear the end of it…I was NOT happy, and now I feel worse than ever. My body is having major tinglies in both arms and legs, I am getting roughly 4 good hours a day, and that is just plain not enough (oh and my next appt with him is at 8am, so if I don't get time, being the first appt of the day, I will have a FIT) I have CONSTANT nausea, and am just fed up with everything. My temper is flaring, which I have read is a side effect of MANY of the meds he has me on and the new one causes swelling and heart racing and all sorts of weird things, Nope don't like it especially since my head is not improving ANY. 2 days of somewhat half improvement is not sufficient for this crap.

Today I saw my Pulmonologist. She decided to run LATE, 50 minutes late to be precise (oh and my Verapamil did not lower my blood pressure it was 159/89, one pt lower than usual after driving through massive construction zones) she wants a pulmonary function test and chest x-ray done before my gastric bypass is scheduled, I am to schedule those for the same day as my appointment with Dr. Zambare in August since I will already be in Southfield (make only one trip, that I can deal with, and I like her techs I have been dealing with them for two years) Then I see her again in September. The only change she wants me to make with my CPAP is to wear it when I nap too, a pain in the butt for sure since I nap 1-3 times a day but my sleepiness scale increased 4pts this time so she thinks I may be having apneas during the frequent naps too and that may be why I am needing more and always tired regardless of how much sleep I get…So CPAP All The time, Chris teased me I might as well just keep it on 24/7 since I fall asleep when we talk sometimes, I don't think I am that bad, but I do zone out a lot.

Ugh Headache getting much Much worse, didn't think it could get worse than it was, I may need to use an Ice pack tonight, I posed a question for nausea relief and every suggestion was full of sugar that I can't have I almost cried, I think I will be asking for an appointment with my PCP when I see his finance lady Monday…I am so tired of the constant nausea.    

No comments: