Oh my goodness what a week it has been. The sad part? Today is only Wednesday.
Yesterday I had my first visit with the physical therapist in the outpatient clinic, she had no records for me so the whole visit was basically history, I have repeated it so often I could probably do it in my sleep, oh well.
She was nice, but we will see how tomorrow goes when we actually do more than just talk. Ok, I guess that wasn't fair, she did check range of motion, reflexes, pain, and swelling.
Today was a VERY hard day. I got up took Chris to work, I am NOT going to try that again for a VERY long time, my leg does not like working when I am alone. We took a trip up to the old neurosurgeons office to get them to fill out the last of the paperwork for the Lyrica. What should have taken 5 minutes took closer to 90. During that time I walked (remind me not to go on LONG walks with the walker ever again) to the hospitals Diagnostic Imaging Department to get the records Dr. Guthikonda's office wants me to bring on the 7th. Oh my. While there, Code Red, yes a fire alarm went off and I was stuck in the hospital hall ways on my way BACK to the medical building (all connected but still a VERY long walk)
I then got caught by every light along the trip to take Chris some lunch and spend an enjoyable time with him. Now I know why he HATES driving, my goodness. I was shaking so badly by the time we got to his work, we stayed there all but a half hour when I went up two miles to the corner to go to Michael's to pick up something for Lauren to do for the two hours we waited for him to get out. Then we ordered pizza for dinner, when it arrived it was 10 minutes late and they forgot to slice it...I am now ready for bed.
What a day!!! Here's to a better tomorrow.
Showing posts with label WHINE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WHINE. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Everything is a Battle
The question that my darling (ok so she wasnt quite so darling while I was yelling at her) daughter got asked today.
She was trying to stay out of my way, since I am not moving well she is getting quite independant, UGH, not what I need.
Today she washed her own hair, using an ENTIRE bottle of shampoo. I had to put her in the shower to get it out, she HATES showers, I can't stand for long periods of time without my walker, and can not move really well, so I am standing there getting wet, trying to rinse out her hair, she is screaming like a mad woman because I am holding her in place with one hand and holding the wall with the other. By the time we finished, I sat down on the toilet and just cried. I held her close and she cried too.
I hate what this has done to her, it makse me so mad that the lawyers don't want to take my case because we do not yet know if this is permanent, but even more so, I hate that I can not take care of my baby. Instead she is taking care of me.
Today during physical therapy she was driving my therapist NUTS. I have often thought about sending her to school while I recover but then I look at it as so much more work.
Without having to go to school she already fights me on getting dressed, doing her work and then I would have to deal with school busses (which is nigh impossible seeing as it takes alot of work for me just to get in and out of the house.
I would also have to deal with the calls from school to deal with her when she misbehaves (which lately seems almost a constant).
I also have to look at the reality, what if this DOES NOT get better. What if I am always going to have some damage left. Then I sent her off to heal and I didnt heal. Then I just send my child away for NOTHING.
I can't do that either.
She may be very challenging, but she is mine, I love her regardless of how much of a monster she can be.
She was trying to stay out of my way, since I am not moving well she is getting quite independant, UGH, not what I need.
Today she washed her own hair, using an ENTIRE bottle of shampoo. I had to put her in the shower to get it out, she HATES showers, I can't stand for long periods of time without my walker, and can not move really well, so I am standing there getting wet, trying to rinse out her hair, she is screaming like a mad woman because I am holding her in place with one hand and holding the wall with the other. By the time we finished, I sat down on the toilet and just cried. I held her close and she cried too.
I hate what this has done to her, it makse me so mad that the lawyers don't want to take my case because we do not yet know if this is permanent, but even more so, I hate that I can not take care of my baby. Instead she is taking care of me.
Today during physical therapy she was driving my therapist NUTS. I have often thought about sending her to school while I recover but then I look at it as so much more work.
Without having to go to school she already fights me on getting dressed, doing her work and then I would have to deal with school busses (which is nigh impossible seeing as it takes alot of work for me just to get in and out of the house.
I would also have to deal with the calls from school to deal with her when she misbehaves (which lately seems almost a constant).
I also have to look at the reality, what if this DOES NOT get better. What if I am always going to have some damage left. Then I sent her off to heal and I didnt heal. Then I just send my child away for NOTHING.
I can't do that either.
She may be very challenging, but she is mine, I love her regardless of how much of a monster she can be.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Whats going on in our house
Spiritual Warfare.
Stresses are running high, that's what.
MIL is in the hospital. I can't ask people to pray for her because we have no idea whats wrong, she isn't being honest with us.
Dh is falling prey to her every demand, its stressing our family to near the breaking point. A bit of background, we have a very BAD relationship with MIL. There is a very strong spiritual oppression that occurs when we are around her and DH is not strong in his faith at this point, making it even harder on our house.
Satan is really getting a good laugh at our expense, but he WILL NOT win this battle.
Every time I pray, I hear God ask me those Four little words that are extremely aggravating to me at this present moment....DO YOU TRUST ME?
This is stressing me out more so because I am sick I think, I THINK. Its bringing back a lot of very painful memories from early in our marriage. We had been married merely a month when I lost our first child, and ended up having a D&C for a missed miscarriage. DH was at work during that, his grandmother came to the hospital to be with me.
Two months later, I ended up in the hospital with my 3rd PTC attack, I was admitted during the night, I had sent him to work because I knew he would not be able to be with me through a good portion of the time in the ER and we needed the money...he didn't make it to the hospital every day I was in there after being admitted.
The following month, I had the shunt that is now not working properly put in. Once again, he was not there for me, when I woke up, the world had fallen apart (or at least that's how TV portrayed it) and My husband was NO WHERE to be found. Yes, he stayed while I was in surgery that horrible September day, but when I was moved to recovery, he had gone to get the mattress and box springs for our bed instead of being there.
But, his mom is in the hospital, lying to us about whats even wrong (what she said they were doing surgery for is NOT treated surgically and the anesthesiologist is not who tells you how you are doing, I have had More than enough surgeries to know this) and he has been incredibly testy and grumpy. Yes I am bitter, We have had struggles throughout our marriage, but this one is really getting to me. He had not seen her in 6 months and things were finally starting to look up. He was not always crabby and easier to deal with. Even Lauren said something to him today...when he asked her about it, I had to point out that she is not blind, even she can see the stress that this is causing him.
I have not been in church in a little over a month because of various reasons, But I am going tomorrow NO MATTER WHAT. The song that keeps going through my head is
I command you Satan in the Name of the Lord, To pick up your weapons and Flee, for the LORD has Given Me authority to Walk all over thee.
Stresses are running high, that's what.
MIL is in the hospital. I can't ask people to pray for her because we have no idea whats wrong, she isn't being honest with us.
Dh is falling prey to her every demand, its stressing our family to near the breaking point. A bit of background, we have a very BAD relationship with MIL. There is a very strong spiritual oppression that occurs when we are around her and DH is not strong in his faith at this point, making it even harder on our house.
Satan is really getting a good laugh at our expense, but he WILL NOT win this battle.
Every time I pray, I hear God ask me those Four little words that are extremely aggravating to me at this present moment....DO YOU TRUST ME?
This is stressing me out more so because I am sick I think, I THINK. Its bringing back a lot of very painful memories from early in our marriage. We had been married merely a month when I lost our first child, and ended up having a D&C for a missed miscarriage. DH was at work during that, his grandmother came to the hospital to be with me.
Two months later, I ended up in the hospital with my 3rd PTC attack, I was admitted during the night, I had sent him to work because I knew he would not be able to be with me through a good portion of the time in the ER and we needed the money...he didn't make it to the hospital every day I was in there after being admitted.
The following month, I had the shunt that is now not working properly put in. Once again, he was not there for me, when I woke up, the world had fallen apart (or at least that's how TV portrayed it) and My husband was NO WHERE to be found. Yes, he stayed while I was in surgery that horrible September day, but when I was moved to recovery, he had gone to get the mattress and box springs for our bed instead of being there.
But, his mom is in the hospital, lying to us about whats even wrong (what she said they were doing surgery for is NOT treated surgically and the anesthesiologist is not who tells you how you are doing, I have had More than enough surgeries to know this) and he has been incredibly testy and grumpy. Yes I am bitter, We have had struggles throughout our marriage, but this one is really getting to me. He had not seen her in 6 months and things were finally starting to look up. He was not always crabby and easier to deal with. Even Lauren said something to him today...when he asked her about it, I had to point out that she is not blind, even she can see the stress that this is causing him.
I have not been in church in a little over a month because of various reasons, But I am going tomorrow NO MATTER WHAT. The song that keeps going through my head is
I command you Satan in the Name of the Lord, To pick up your weapons and Flee, for the LORD has Given Me authority to Walk all over thee.
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