Stresses are running high, that's what.
MIL is in the hospital. I can't ask people to pray for her because we have no idea whats wrong, she isn't being honest with us.
Dh is falling prey to her every demand, its stressing our family to near the breaking point. A bit of background, we have a very BAD relationship with MIL. There is a very strong spiritual oppression that occurs when we are around her and DH is not strong in his faith at this point, making it even harder on our house.
Satan is really getting a good laugh at our expense, but he WILL NOT win this battle.
Every time I pray, I hear God ask me those Four little words that are extremely aggravating to me at this present moment....DO YOU TRUST ME?
This is stressing me out more so because I am sick I think, I THINK. Its bringing back a lot of very painful memories from early in our marriage. We had been married merely a month when I lost our first child, and ended up having a D&C for a missed miscarriage. DH was at work during that, his grandmother came to the hospital to be with me.
Two months later, I ended up in the hospital with my 3rd PTC attack, I was admitted during the night, I had sent him to work because I knew he would not be able to be with me through a good portion of the time in the ER and we needed the money...he didn't make it to the hospital every day I was in there after being admitted.
The following month, I had the shunt that is now not working properly put in. Once again, he was not there for me, when I woke up, the world had fallen apart (or at least that's how TV portrayed it) and My husband was NO WHERE to be found. Yes, he stayed while I was in surgery that horrible September day, but when I was moved to recovery, he had gone to get the mattress and box springs for our bed instead of being there.
But, his mom is in the hospital, lying to us about whats even wrong (what she said they were doing surgery for is NOT treated surgically and the anesthesiologist is not who tells you how you are doing, I have had More than enough surgeries to know this) and he has been incredibly testy and grumpy. Yes I am bitter, We have had struggles throughout our marriage, but this one is really getting to me. He had not seen her in 6 months and things were finally starting to look up. He was not always crabby and easier to deal with. Even Lauren said something to him today...when he asked her about it, I had to point out that she is not blind, even she can see the stress that this is causing him.
I have not been in church in a little over a month because of various reasons, But I am going tomorrow NO MATTER WHAT. The song that keeps going through my head is
I command you Satan in the Name of the Lord, To pick up your weapons and Flee, for the LORD has Given Me authority to Walk all over thee.