Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Appointments are All made

What a whirlwind these last few days have been.
I did not anticipate ever having to go through these things again.
I do not know why it seems so scary this time, its routine testing, making sure I am ok. My family deserves to know that I will be ok, they need me.

After all, if I am sick, who will listen to the Bug read and applaud her improvements. Yes, daddy would do that, but he is working to provide for us, if I cant take care of her, she would have to be put in school. YUCK.

Who would take care of DH, there are times where he just needs to be shown that he is appreciated. Now, now, I know I need those things too, but a woman really doesn't need as much as a man to be shown how appreciated we are. Yes, we love hearing it, but deep within, we know how they feel, men seem to need more reminders.

It doesn't matter, October 17th, I will have the shunt series of X-Rays to check positioning, The CT Scan for what reason I really don't know, lol, it says to check the shunt, but that one is kinda confusing to me. And lastly the MRI to verify there isn't anything new going on up there.
Honestly, I am surprised a Spinal Tap wont follow, she had said one, but its not on the list. I am at a crossroads on how I feel about that. On one hand, I HATE having that needle stuck in my back, but on the other hand, I KNOW that I need the Tap, I know my pressure is high, if I hadn't gone through this for what amounts to more than half of my life, maybe then I wouldn't be so positive, but I do know. So we wait and Pray, and Pray and wait.

Since I want the DX of shunt malfunction, you may ask, what are we praying for? I am praying that the pressure stays low enough that I don't end up in the ER before my appointments. A dear friend of mine, enlightened me yesterday that this has been going on for a year. Its getting progressively worse, and she is right, I put it off TOO long. I should have called about 6 months ago before it became constant. Instead, I tried rationalizing, that this is not happening again, and the headaches and sickness was caused by stress of raising a very needy little girl. Its not.

Now, for the big question, Why do I want this to come out as a shunt malfunction, instead of say, NOTHING. Well, its simple, if its a shunt malfunction, its easily fixed. Not painlessly, but easily. I have a great neurosurgeon, who put the shunt in, he is even rated among the best by his colleagues. I trust him. What I don't trust, or have the time for, is having to look for what else could be causing all of these symptoms. They are all directly related to the PTC, including a lot of newer symptoms that I did not have before. Its easier to treat the known, and the unknown is just terrifying and more so when you are in pain.

I will know more of whats going on October 31st, after my follow up appointment.

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