Struggles

This has been a rough couple of days. I need to admit it openly because if I don't, when I look back, I will have forgotten the tough times.

We got a beautiful foot of snow Friday morning, I tried to be my old self and shovel just a little, I knew I couldn't do it, but I had to try. I did not hear back on the library job I am PERFECTLY qualified to do. The depression sinks in. The cane got in the way again.

Its hard to say the least. The pain today has been horrendous, it was bad yesterday too, almost like a one step forward two steps back process.

I did see some light in my dim day, I made a batch of Peppermint Crunch Fudge. It tastes GREAT. Life has been extremely overwhelming. Its been Hard. I see things around me and sometimes it just speeds around in circles making me dizzy.

I am tired and I can't keep up. I think the hardest part is that its been nearly a year now, and its very overwhelming to not be normal. I miss playing with my daughter, I miss taking baths, I miss sitting on the floor, I miss being me.