Saturday, February 20, 2010

It’s MY Blog and I’ll whine if I want to

Ok I won't whine for long, I just need to get it off my shoulders and since removing my head isn't an option, and I can't really talk to anyone, it comes out here.

Today has been Very HARD. I have been fighting all day the urge to go to the ER. Everytime I feel a burst of pain that I can't breathe through (mom's think labor contractions during transition) I look at my calendar, today is February 20, 2010 I see the Neurosurgeon On March 5th, that is 13 days away, I just need to make it 13 more days…

This afternoon I told Chris I needed a Vicodin to take the edge off, and he was concerned about me overdosing, I giggled, for one, I could not take that many, a dose or two to help me through THIS patch is all I would take (last time I had a bottle of 40 it lasted me 6 months) but, the hardest part is he knows that it is not strong enough to do anything besides take the edge off. The reason I am getting to the ER point though is I need the drug cocktail, Morphine (pain) Toradol (Muscle relaxant) and Compazine or Zofran (my preferred anti nausea) just to feel a little better…and unfortunately, even that would take a few rounds just to break the cycle and bring a way over 20+ pain number down to something reasonable. Like a 10, lol…

Oh and lets not forget the hospital would do a spinal tap to bring my pressures down too (not that that helps, it usually makes me feel better for an hour or so then I feel worse for about 2-6 weeks thanks to my brain herniation….thats why my goal is to wait.

I go in in 10 days for the echo, woo hoo. Not looking forward to that either. At least that's not going to make my headache worse.

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