How much More??

For my facebook friends, they know how hard it's been. for the rest of the world, the only ones who know how hard it really is are those in my immediate household.

I am very private except on here because not many people know this exists. I truly do not know how much more I can handle. I do not want to hear one more person say "give it to GOD, or it's all in his hands, or God does not put on more than you can bare, or any other "quotable" bible verses Right now, they are not what I need, I need a HUG, a we're praying for you, or simply a simply when Truly led, a gentle hug.

Please don't ask how I feel, I am going to say fine, because you can't handle the truth, There are very few people who know the truth, and ONE special lady who knows it VERY well, she has been my Biggest Inspiration, since she has been through such battles as well. I recall a chat with her, she made me smile, we looked at each other and asked NOW, How do you REALLY feel J I love that woman so much.

My pain tolerance is very High, but I have seriously been contemplating a trip to the ER a lot lately, I have been so sick and I am scared that it is not getting any better. Will it ever improve? If not, is God really using it or is it just taking a toll for nothing?

Only time will tell.