Tuesday, August 14, 2007

God's Will and Infertility

Our family has been battling secondary infertility since about 9 months after Bug arrived, after the second year of trying we decided to see WHY God wasnt blessing us, I don't ovulate, ok, very simple problem you'd think.
I have Killer periods when I do have them, they last FOREVER, ok, at least thats how DH feels, seriously though, I just finished one that lasted 6 weeks, the one before that, Oh, I think it was only a week or so, but the one before that, well that one lasted 3 MONTHS. So we definitely have some issues on my part.
We are of the belief that this should be treated in part because my Iron gets really low with the long periods, and the longer in between them the longer they seem to last. So we have been on hormone regulators to make things a bit easier.
I know LOTS of people would have a fit about that, but I am also sure that most of them dont bleed for 3 months on and 3 months off on a totally natural cycle either. So TOUGH.

We really want to get pregnant at least once more and have a second child, DH is a lonely child and I am one of two, I certainly do NOT want that for BUG, it was miserable for both of us and even now dh is the only one to deal with his mom (his dad has two step sons) and neither of his parents are easy to deal with) Obviously if you have in laws you can certainly understand that.

Well, since its now been 4 years plus a few monts of trying to get pregnant, and we have run two rounds of Clomid, and are about to start our third, we were talking the other day a what if scenerio...if we get pregnant after the baby is born do we want to see about using Birth Control that would eliminate the heavy periods nearly completely (if not completely) or should we keep trusting that it would work out...at the very least I think we will stick with a provera regimin to keep them less than 3 months long, lol.

Bug Loves to read the Keys for Kids to us, as we also read them to her, but her stories are completely random. Since she is JUST 5 years old, she cant find the verses as easily in her bible as we can, So...Last night I helped her find the Verse, it was Psalm 119:9-16 but she flipped pages when she was heading back to the loveseat to read, she Read..PSALM 127:3-5 NKJV (her Bible)
it reads...
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

After hearing that, while I have known it for a LONG time, How on earth can I justify shutting down my fertility by choice after just two children. If God blesses me with two, and it doesn't happen again, fine, but what if he wants be to have more? What if he chooses to never bless us again because We had made the choice that two was it? Ok, too many what ifs, we will stick with the provera to keep the periods livable, if we do get pregnancy once again, we will not be doing more clomid after two children though.

1 comment:

jaxs said...

All I can say it DITTO.
Praying for you of course,
Jaxs