This morning was rough, I did not want to go to church, even got a few miles down the road and nearly turned around and came home. I was miserable and angry and frustrated.
But I went anyhow, and oh how great is our God. Praise and worship alone led me to tears, I just prayed and prayed. Life has been such a roller coaster this week. I have spent a good portion of time not too thrilled with whats been going on.
God has let me know that I must go through this battle, that in and of itself is VERY challenging for me. Not going through it, but knowing that I won't get a miracle healing. 19 years ago God showed where this ends, and he has reminded me time and time again when I beg for him to take it from me, that that is not his plan. I have to go through it.
Today all throughout church I just kept hearing him speak to me in different things, not really following the sermon, but stuff I needed to hear and wouldn't have had I stayed home.
I heard him remind me that if I don't go through this, how can I show people that God is with you through the tough time. I have a much different approach when it comes to praying for or with people and sharing what God has done for me. Its always been more of a testimony, if he can bring me through this, he can bring you through too.
Before this though, God has only allowed me to go through relatively small trials. Not that I am complaining about not having scary things happen, but still, lol.
God let me know today that he has bigger plans for this. He reminded me that Romans 8:28 does not say And we know that SOME things work together for good to them that love God to them who are the called according to his purpose.
it says And we know that ALL things work together for good to them that love God to them that are the called according to his purpose.
Therefore, this is not a bad thing, and God will work it out for his good. No matter how hard it is to trust him, he is still in control and he will work things out and everything will be okay.
His will will be done no matter what happens. I am not to be afraid, and even when fears creep in, I am to remember that God is still in control. He is in charge of my life, and ironically, I have a bookmark in my bible called the rainbow, that just happened to be near the scripture we read today.
It was just the encouragement I needed right on time, just like God always is, never late, but right on time.