Monday, November 26, 2007

I am So Frustrated

Gracious, I am so tired of this whole mess.
This morning I saw the neurologist again. While I don't mind seeing him, I already had a strong inkling of what he had to say.
Spinal Tap, here we come.

Wednesday I get to visit my neurosurgeon again. Dr. Silverman wants to make sure that they can do a spinal tap to check the pressure. I wouldn't be so frustrated except that I technically was supposed to see Dr. Pieper on Halloween, but that got moved to go see Dr. Silverman in the first place.

Apparently my EEG and VEP weren't bad enough to have to look at those in more depth. That part is really good as I don't want to go through more of that. So, once again, I know nothing more than before and my thoughts that I knew more than the doctors in the first place was proven.
It is so hard to find the peace of God in this one for me as I asked about the tap way back on the 17th of October when I had the CT scan, MRI, and X-Rays. I thought it made more sense since that's the only way they can tell if the pressure is high.
I know God is in this, I know he wants either Me or Someone Else to learn from this, but right now I am feeling very weak and vulnerable since it seems I am going in circles to get this straightened out.
Right now, my biggest concern is if being headache free again is really worth all the hassles to deal with this.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

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