That was a Short Wait

Well, I left off describing the lead up diagnosis to the PTC. That was fall of 1998, in the panic that followed such a rare illness (I have only met one other person from where I was from that has it) the doctors sent me down to Detroit to get checked by doctors more familiar with the effects on the eye. Kresge Eye institute, I was scared out of my mind, they sent me to the third floor (where all new patients went at the time) There were so many canes I was truly afraid of what I was about to endure. Fortunately, it was NOT THAT BAD. Oh the waits and testing were murder. It was definitely and all day affair for each appointment even the ones at 9am, basically because it was a 2 hour drive just to get there.

I saw the worst doctor in the history of medicine, OK, he wasn't that bad, but he had no chair side manner and was a jerk...I have had a few people refer me to him since, NO THANKS, I would rather be sick or even blind. Fortunately he didn't want me as a patience since I didn't have insurance, and sent me to a wonderful doctor who met us on the 1st floor where he had his office hours. Dr. Ing was the greatest most gentle and understanding doctor I had ever met. He allowed me to quit taking all the meds I was on (Diamox has some pretty nasty side effects) they weren't working anyhow. He also made a point to calm me down about the weightloss, now, I still tried to lose weight (its been a constant battle all of my life) but said that obviously since the problem was not better at a lesser weight, and not worse at the heavier ones, that weight is just a problem that the docs try to blame it on and they really don't know what causes it.

I felt human again. This was NOT my fault. After seeing Dr. Ing twice, I was given the option of surgery or pretty much wait and see. I had already lost alot of vision, and even more of my visual field. When I looked at the charts (the visual field is demonstrated about the size of a 50cent piece) my vision was about the size of a dime. I fought to get medicaid (I was still just a temp at the hospital) til I won. I had the Optic Nerve Sheath Fenestration done. Within weeks I could see an improvement. I continued those appointments til Dr. Ing was sent back to Canada, I cried hard that day.

Just over a year later, I was back in the hospital, back to being sick, and so frustrated. Granted the headaches hadn't gone away yet, but I thought I was done battling.
In 2001, I married the most wonderful man on the face of this earth. We got pregnant. We Lost the baby (all within 3 months) and I wound up back in the hospital with PTC in August.

This time was a bit different though. The man I married was from the Detroit area. I was admitted to a Detroit Area hospital. The ER doctor and Neurologist who saw me there did not treat this as some imaginary fake disease. I was treated for the pain, lovely morphine. Given several muscle relaxers to try to ease the tension from the muscles, something no one had ever done before, and while it didn't help for very long (only about 20 minutes) The next day I was told I would be receiving a visit from a referral he had made to a Neurosurgeon.

Hmmm. I knew about treating PTC surgically, I knew from the support groups, that sometimes they worked REALLY well, and others, not so much. Was I willing to take the risk? I did not know. I had questions, and lots of them. I wanted a family, would the shunt interfere with that? I wanted to be headache free...if not I didn't think surgery would be worth it. When Dr. Daniel Pieper walked in that door, I knew I was getting fixed.

He told me yes, I could still have children, but I may need a C-Section (no problem) and that while he couldn't promise that it would work, he had had alot of success with headache reduction.
That was good enough for me too. On September 11, 2001, yes while the Twin towers collapsed from Terrorism, I had my shunt put in.
The next day was hard, I think it was harder due to not knowing what was going on in the outside world than the actual pain I felt.
I got to go home a few days later, within two weeks the headaches were GONE. Yes GONE, I got a period about 12 days later and that cycle conceived the BUG.

When the headaches started returning intermittently, I figured it was just tension from raising a child, or whatever other excuse I could come up with. But when they started NOT going away again. I called. Surprisingly, today, SATURDAY, at 10:30am, the phone rang, it was his office. They are going to have some tests run to check the function of the shunt. I feel so much better knowing that I am getting the ball rolling to getting back to what had become normal. I don't need to be sick with a 5 year old.

Thank God He knows whats going on. I know in my heart this problem will be corrected quickly.

Well the bug is behaving much much better today and yesterday, we set up a reward system in which she has to earn points and stickers and stamps to get to go to our activities like McDonalds play dates.
She likes the system, and is working towards a goal of getting to go when we are scheduled to go, she gets to stamp her calendar and we even marked in on the paper, so she knows what she has to do to get her rewards.

I have Pseudotumor cerebri, or what amounts to a false brain tumor. It was diagnosed after suffering for nearly 10 years before someone figured out why I had headaches that were debilitating, dizzy spells that lasted forever, and nice shiny spots in my vision. I had to get what I THOUGHT was the flu to be diagnosed back in 1998.

The week had been stressful, I was working a job with a trainer that I didn't particularly care for (come to find out she had had a death in the family, so it wasn't all her fault she was so out of it) but the job was quite disorganized for the line I was in, and it was not preforming like I felt it should (I had worked for Marriott in college, and the college cafeteria was much cleaner than the hospital I was currently working for) I had had a root beer to drink, food didn't seem appealing, I thought I was getting sick from all the stress of working with a missing trainer...after all, how do you learn to do a job, when your teacher is NOWHERE to be found??

Well I got home and got really sick on Wednesday evening, called into work on Thursday, since I worked in a hospital, I couldn't go back without a doctors note, so Thursday I went in, they wrote me a note to go back on Monday, but on Friday I was back in the office since I could not walk across the 12 feet of living room in the house without nearly fainting, I was seriously dehydrated, but my eyes were not capable of following the doctors finger either. They sent me to an Opthalmologist, scared that something was REALLY wrong, little did we know what was coming.
We went to the Opthalmologist straight away, I could no longer bear the sight of light at all, it sent sharp pains through my head, neck and back, and just was beyond unbearable. The mean doctor shined the brightest of bright lights in the backs of my eyes, and sent me to the emergency room for a CT scan, he told my mom, that he thought I had a brain tumor. Not a good thing to hear when you are about the age your cousin was when she died of a brain tumor 9 years earlier (when the headaches Started)

After a long gruelling time in the ER, and an MRI, there was no tumor, but the morphine was barely helping the pain at all, that day, I had my second spinal tap. (the first was also when the headaches started, and while the results were the same, the symptoms of PTC are very different for Pediatric patients as I have learned since diagnosis, so it was missed)
The PA (physicians assistant) I was assigned it the ER caught it only because he had just learned about it. Thank heavens for him still being a student.
and thus started the journey to where we are now, waiting the call back from Dr. Pieper's office on what to do next.

What a day

well Today did not go as planned, nor did yesterday, I guess I need to try a different plan.
Bug has behaved beyond horrible all day.
She has been fighting school, and being obedient in general, I have a headache from dealing with her...can I go hide somewhere?

I love her dearly, but this nonsense is really bad. I am at my wits end and noone at all is happy. tomorrow we will try a chart and see if we can get her to earn stickers or something for being good, if she is good all week, we will go to Mc Donalds for play group....she has to have some motivation for behaving, and I need the goals met.

The Agenda

Well today's schedule is working much better than yesterday. Although I am not going according to times very well, its just after noon here and we got some school done, we got the grocery shopping out of the way, Menu is planned, and today's chores will be completed within reason in about an hour or so.

The funny thing is, I think I feel accomplished just based on that fact that we were both dressed before noon.
Today is a sweater day, it was only 55 at noon here. It is actually nice, but it did require the Bug to choose more appropriate attire. She is in one of our Thrift store finds from last week or so.

On the Menu for the remainder of this week
Today (Tuesday) Meatloaf, Mashed Cheesy Potatoes, Garlicky Green Beans
Wednesday Spaghetti and Grandpa's homemade meat sauce, Fresh Bread
Thursday Crock Pot Pot Roast, Probably shredded and served over bread
Friday Lasagna, garlic bread (the lasagna will be made on Wednesday with the leftover sauce (I will make 3 8"pans for the freezer)
Saturday should be a smorgasbord of leftovers if not, it will be Chili

Do you Remember Where you were?

September 11, 2001
I do. On that fateful day, I did not see it fresh in the news, I awoke to the fact that my Neurosurgeon was told about the towers while inserting a shunt. My shunt.
I am more thankful than ever that God was in that operating room because 6 years later it has not failed yet, and To be honest, I was a wreck after hearing about the towers, so I am blessed that my doctor didn't get shook up.

We had miscarried that June, then I had the harshest of my PTC attacks that August, which is what led to the shunt being inserted on that day.

It was so long ago, six years, my baby wasn't even conceived yet. Bug was not conceived til October 7, 2001, a mere month later.
She does not know much about what went on that fateful day in 2001 before she was born. We rarely watch non Sky angel TV, so she does not hear the news. We will teach her about this as well as other parts of American History.

Many people gave their lives today, totally unprepared when they left for work that morning. How do you prepare for something like that? You really cannot. Those people are truly heroes, They brought a divided nation together.

I think its so peculiar. We have a lot of people who claim that they are not Christian, and more that claim that they are, but the one commonality, when problems strike, WE all Pray. We call out to our creator.
I grew up between two non Christian homes. My Family went to church, believed FIRMLY in God, and my neighbors, well, they didn't, But when things went wrong.... Guess who they called to pray with and for them? You guessed it, they came to us. As Christians, we are there for people to come to. Perhaps One day, they will not come to us, but rather Go straight to the source.
Share that source. God wants us to share his love and faithfulness.

Take time today to remember the Patriots. Those who have given their lives for your freedom. We are Free. We are free to speak, disrespect (what a shame that we have THAT freedom) and Free to believe what we choose.

2 Corinthians 3:17 Where the Spirit of the Lord is, There is Freedom. Or in a different version, There is Liberty.

A New Schedule

Well today we supposedly tried a new schedule, LOL, It DID NOT work.
Last night Bug had a HORRIBLE night, she fought going to sleep til almost 10pm and even then it was not without a fight. Now, before you start worrying about her being sick, or scared, or something legitimate and having a rough night, be forewarned, there was nothing wrong other than her not wanting to go to sleep.

Our Night went something like this... Bug, its time to get ready for bed, Go Brush your teeth...she goes into the bathroom, I hear water, Now, she does know how to do this all on her own, and I do not NORMALLY need to supervise, but I guess Last night was NOT normal. Fifteen Minutes later....do you still HAVE teeth? No mom, I still need to Brush my teeth.... What were you doing? Uhm Uhm UHM.
Now I am frustrated, go in BRUSH her teeth For her and tell her to GO TO BED. Good thing we did prayers ten minutes before the fiasco.
It is now 8:50 (mind you, we started with prayers at 8:15) I get her laid down. Leave the room and I hear MOMMMMMMMY. What Bug? I love you. I love you too, NOW go to sleep.
9:15 she is STILL talking (no one in the room to answer, but I guess) 9:20, Mommmmmmy? Go to Sleep. 9:35 MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY! Ok, Get your Bottom upstairs, YOU were told to go to sleep almost an hour ago. Now remember, in the middle you don't hear the patient momma finding out WHAT she needs each time, or the multiple warnings that she needs to not worry about the light, the cat, and the TV in the other room if she wants to sleep downstairs.
I take her up stairs, put her to bed, Turn the fan on, and WAHHHHHHH, I cant find Giraffe, this cute little stuffed giraffe, so here we go again, 20 minutes of crying over choices.
GRR, right now, I am so glad we are dealing with the infertility, because If I had two children, I wouldn't have survived (or she wouldn't be out of her room YET)
I slept with Giraffe to calm her, lol. And at 4:30am or so, a Bug was sleeping on my floor, happy to have her giraffe back.

Tonight WILL be different. At 7:30 we will be reading Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne, ONE chapter, and she will be going to bed UPSTAIRS, at 8pm. No ifs ands or buts about it.

We will Begin our schedule again on Tuesday, maybe we will get SOMETHING of it done.
The Chores, NO, because we have errands to run (need Ground beef and Eggs for Meatloaf) and I will need to disassemble the futon for the free cycle posting, and Move the wood and pipes as well as the other trash out front for tomorrows Great Garbage pick up. And we shall be done.

Tomorrow, evening I will post to let you know how it went.

What kind of Homeschooler?

I am totally dumbfounded, I just took this quiz from Guilt free Homeschooling. I am so so dumbfounded, I never would have imagined my results. I never in a million years would have classified our style as unschooling. I have always had the preconceived notions that unschoolers don't do anything. I don't know why, probably because its not scheduled. We do things, We use a curriculum, sometimes. We do unit studies, sometimes. We read, A LOT. Bug is 5 years old and working on stuff in Kindergarten and First Grade levels from a workbook style curriculum, she plays, helps me clean the house, and just about everything we do, We do together.

I had always considered myself more of the eclectic type, but I guess when I write down the spontaneity of our days, we are unschooling. I hate being tied down to a schedule, I have tried them several times. I was gifted the MOTH book by a good friend of mine and have discovered that nothing gets done if I put times where we are to break our day. I do love the schedule, we use more of a check list to measure what gets done though.

I guess its ok to be an unschooler, Bug is still learning quite a bit and keeping me on my toes. This week we are going to be notebooking the life of a moth since it was in today's newspaper. They even provide a lesson plan for teaching it.

Happy Labor Day Here's to a great unschool year.

Master of the Wind

Well we got hit with a MASSIVE thunderstorm while we were at the store
Flooded the parking lot to the middle of the car tires
The store LOST POWER
tornado warnings and touchdowns a county over
lights out on the way home
flooded roads, Boy, I am glad to be home,
the milk and one case of coke came in,
the kitty litter is Probably RUINED,
the cat food, well it will need to dry out,
Bug feels safe now that we are back home,
The rest of the groceries will come in when the rain STOPS.
and poor DH was worried sick....
isn't life grand

The song we sang on the way home, because Bug was terrified was I know the Master of the wind It is such a calming song in the midst of any storm.

School days

So much for following a plan, I thought we were going to work on Math, Phonics, History, and Geography today, Oh well.

We ended up working on Handwriting and Bible, As you can see, the creative little project here, Genesis 1:31, Each word is on a flower, and each flower attached to a Pipe Cleaner half and then its taped to the pot, Glue and pipe cleaners don't work very well together in our experience.

Bug had a blast coloring, taping and arranging. The Template came from Here.

We then went to www.kidzone.com and made a custom tracer page with the same verse for handwriting.

Altogether we had a very good day with school today.

I don't worry that we didn't get as much done as I would have liked, she is already 24 lessons into the Kindergarten Math curriculum.

Local schools don't start for 15 days, so she is still way ahead, and her phonics is first grade anyhow to keep up with her reading ability.

Tis life.

Fair Fun

Saturday was a Beautiful day, DH had to work in the morning, not a fun thing, but two hours of overtime is a blessing. When he got home, we got Bug ready to go, and headed out to the local fair.

Ok, we live in a large city, so after driving nearly an hour to get there, and having to deal with a 30 minute delay for a quarter mile of construction we were really praying that it was worth it. It was.

We parked across the street in a nice little home lot, what a pleasant way to make a quick buck, renting out your yard, Parking was $5 a car....not too bad and I was prepared for it...I think next year we are going to save so we can spend more money.

Admission was $14 for both DH and I, Bug was free since she is under 8.

Then we paid for an Ice Cream Cone filled with animal feed during the petting farm.

First we got to see the cows and bulls, there was an 8 day old black and white calf, she was so sweet but sleepy.

Then we saw the above cows, Sorry for the date stamp, I forgot to reset it when I charged the batteries.
The brown one, silly thing was lounged out across the black one, It almost looked as if they were kissing, too cute.

Our next stop was the petting farm, my whole reason for wanting to go. Originally, Bug had NO interest in feeding the animals, but the money went to 4h which I would like to see about getting her involved in eventually, so it was a good dollar spent.

We saw chicks, a calf (about two or three weeks old) a sheep, some hens and roosters, Rabbits, a Llama, a pony, some Ducks and more goats than you can imagine. They are who got most of the food, they are the coolest animals we even got to see a new baby goat, and it was frightened by all the other goats, they kept picking on him.

We also saw a live carousel (reason we need to save more money, as that was something Bug really wanted to go on, but the price wasn't in our reach since I didn't take extra...next year it will be more like our vacation day)

We did not see horses or Pigs this year, not sure why, but we never did find them.

we did see some Chain saw sculptures a Cowboy boot, a raccoon, a bird and a few other things, they were really neat.

We went and saw the entries, that's when we decided that the 4h really is something Bug is interested in....there are things that are not all about the animals, but other things that we CAN do in the city.
Then we went to the merchants, another place I wish I had had more to spend, we got some Watkins double strength Vanilla and Barbecue Sauce concentrate.

We had Hot dogs and a Knackwurst for lunch and headed home.

Its truly surprising how much we got done in just 3 hours of fair walking.

God's Will and Infertility

Our family has been battling secondary infertility since about 9 months after Bug arrived, after the second year of trying we decided to see WHY God wasnt blessing us, I don't ovulate, ok, very simple problem you'd think.
I have Killer periods when I do have them, they last FOREVER, ok, at least thats how DH feels, seriously though, I just finished one that lasted 6 weeks, the one before that, Oh, I think it was only a week or so, but the one before that, well that one lasted 3 MONTHS. So we definitely have some issues on my part.
We are of the belief that this should be treated in part because my Iron gets really low with the long periods, and the longer in between them the longer they seem to last. So we have been on hormone regulators to make things a bit easier.
I know LOTS of people would have a fit about that, but I am also sure that most of them dont bleed for 3 months on and 3 months off on a totally natural cycle either. So TOUGH.

We really want to get pregnant at least once more and have a second child, DH is a lonely child and I am one of two, I certainly do NOT want that for BUG, it was miserable for both of us and even now dh is the only one to deal with his mom (his dad has two step sons) and neither of his parents are easy to deal with) Obviously if you have in laws you can certainly understand that.

Well, since its now been 4 years plus a few monts of trying to get pregnant, and we have run two rounds of Clomid, and are about to start our third, we were talking the other day a what if scenerio...if we get pregnant after the baby is born do we want to see about using Birth Control that would eliminate the heavy periods nearly completely (if not completely) or should we keep trusting that it would work out...at the very least I think we will stick with a provera regimin to keep them less than 3 months long, lol.

Bug Loves to read the Keys for Kids to us, as we also read them to her, but her stories are completely random. Since she is JUST 5 years old, she cant find the verses as easily in her bible as we can, So...Last night I helped her find the Verse, it was Psalm 119:9-16 but she flipped pages when she was heading back to the loveseat to read, she Read..PSALM 127:3-5 NKJV (her Bible)
it reads...
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

After hearing that, while I have known it for a LONG time, How on earth can I justify shutting down my fertility by choice after just two children. If God blesses me with two, and it doesn't happen again, fine, but what if he wants be to have more? What if he chooses to never bless us again because We had made the choice that two was it? Ok, too many what ifs, we will stick with the provera to keep the periods livable, if we do get pregnancy once again, we will not be doing more clomid after two children though.

Oops

Didn't do as well as I had hoped, but I did do better than I had been doing.
We did eat out of the pantry almost all week (short of Thursday, which My sisters kitty had to be put down) I just was incapable of cooking, thinking or much else.
Its hard to believe that you could be so sad over a CAT, and an 18 year old cat at that. That is VERY old for a cat, he was well loved.

Today we have had a good day, But is napping right now, she did a lot of school today for her, we don't over do the school at this point, I don't want her NOT liking school because its too work intensive. She did a Math worksheet, then a handwriting sheet as well as art (finger paint and cut and paste)

We are still focusing on the writing as its SO challenging for her. I hate seeing her so frustrated, but I know she will get it when she is supposed to.

Staying on Budget with a Pantry Challenge

With an extra tight budget for the next two weeks but it really needs to stay even if the overtime comes back.
So I am off to a Pantry Challenge, I have a good stock of foods, but menu planning has been a challenge this summer.
Tonight was our last day going out to eat for at least the next 13 days. We just need to stop, no ifs ands or buts about it.

So, Tomorrow, we are beginnign a pantry challenge (my goal is to spend less than $15 including Milk)

Tuesday, We are having Spaghetti with Meat Sauce (all pantry)
Wednesday, We are having Chicken Quesadilla's with Sour cream Salsa (all Pantry)
Thursday, We are having Pizza Bread Sandwiches (Pepperoni, Cheese, bacon in frozen yeast rolls risen, flattened and sandwiched) (all in Pantry)
Friday, We are having Steak, Crock Pot baked Potatoes, Mushrooms and Onions (Baked Potatoes on sale for $1.79 for 3lbs, extras will be converted into twice baked potatoes and frozen)
Saturday, we tend to Graze on Saturdays, so we are having a relish tray of sliced Cucumbers (free) Bell Pepper(free) from DH's Coworkers Garden) as well as cherry tomatoes ($1.49 a pint) and Radishes (89c) and Baby Carrots (99c) we are also having BBQ sausages (1.99) and Kings Hawaiian Rolls (1.99) for a total for the day of about 7.50
Sunday, we are having Nacho pizza rolls with chips and cheese as a snack 2.79 for chips AND cheese

Grand total for week $11.93

Next week wont be quite as cheap, unfortunately, but it wont be horrible either.

Monday we will have Chicken Quesadilla's again (a family favorite) will need tortillas (1.99)

Tuesday We are having Lasagna only need the cottage Cheese $1.49 Aldis

Wednesday Pepperoni Cheese Bread, will be making the crust from scratch this time so will just need Mozzarella cheese $2 for 8 oz

Thursday we are having Pork Satay, I have to use the pork, sooner or later, so why not sooner, will make crab Rangoon to go with it, Crab is 1.99, Cream cheese, is $1, and the won ton wrappers should be under 1.99

Friday I am trying my hand at making Chicken Shack style food (to make up for not going out to eat) I am going to Barbecue Breaded Tenders and Butter some McCain's Roasters with a spiced Butter sauce, we shall see how close it tastes. $1.50 for the BBQ sauce (would love to go get a bottle of theirs, but that's not in the budget this week)

Saturday, we are having BBQ ribs and Burgers, corn on the cob and a sandwich fixings, Tomatoes 99c lb, buns, 49c at Aldis and the corn is 1.99 for 12 ears... the leftovers will be frozen.

Sunday, Smoked Sausage $1.99, Scalloped Potatoes (pantry) and Garlic green Beans (Pantry)

Total spent...17.42 plus $2.50 for a gallon of milk

Anything else we spend for the next two weeks will be for storage for restocking for next week.

Oh Why, Oh Why, Did my bug Turn Five?

If anyone tries telling you parenting is easy, they aren't one. This past few days around here has been HARD. Bug is going through a stage of being downright defiant. It is taxing DH and I to near breaking...I cry out to God for help, I honestly wonder if he hears me.
If there is one thing I want my child to learn more than anything else its to be obedient. In her future, there will likely be a husband, maybe a boss, we will be here for for several more years, and many other authority figures surround us.
She is learning of consequences. On one hand I hate seeing my child upset, but for reasons beyond my comprehension, when things do not work, she loses her temper and hits or just outright tries to hurt us. I am nervous, at times, when we think about the fact we are trying to have another baby (have been for 5 years now) because she has these horrible mood swings into violence.
We are firm, non yielding parents. Her words cut like a knife "I was being good, yet you were mean to me" generally the response we get when we say no to a request, be it reasonable or not. Most of the time my response is trite, that you have to be good more than just when you want things, and I put away what she is begging for....guess what that gives us....can you guess?? exactly, MORE FITS. I have tried all sorts of discipline, nothing seems to give permanent results. most of the time now, I just ignore the fits and make her take some alone time. Hopefully she will learn something from all of this, if not, I seriously pray that this is just a phase and "THIS TOO SHALL PASS"
Oh why, oh Why, did my bug turn five?

WORK WORK

Things to do today

• House Work
• School Work

Today we have to get the house in order, tomorrow is garbage day and my housekeeping is sorely lacking but its getting better, today I am tackling our Master Bedroom and it will also be becoming the school room (yes, my poor master bedroom is going to be multitasking, but its way more space than we need for JUST sleeping.

One thing, my desk is moving in there so I can start going to bed at a decent hour When DH goes to bed, if I go to bed too, then I am not tired all day...at the very least the puter wont be the temptation to stay up. The AC is also going in there because it directs the air better and will share with the livingroom just fine)

For School Work, We are working on setting up our homeschool for this fall. When I was a child, we planned for school that stared in September, now, the supplies are sold mid July, we are pretty well stocked though, we have 24 notebooks, Chisel Tip erasers, 10 boxes of crayons, and more writing paper than you can imagine, oh and 4 binders (which will be enough for this year) All we still need are Pocket folders, pencils, and Glue. I think the best part of all we have purchased for this year is that the grand total was only about $10. My local homeschool store has a sale going on that will help with all but the pocket folders coming up on August 3rd.

We are homeschooling Kindergarten/first Grade this year with Bug.

For Curriculum our bases are Horizons K Math and Horizons 1st Phonics. We are also using Free Printables from KidZone and Donna Young for handwriting. The Daily work will be the 3Rs and we will do a hodge Podge of Unit Studies, Games, and just fun for History, Geography, and Science. For Bible, we use Keys for Kids as the devotions and will be aiming for bug to memorize one verse per week.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Day.

Destiny and Ministry

Church is amazing. Service was about Joseph today, specifically his destiny, his dreams and his future and our destiny.
This made so much sense to me because I have seen so many people be prolific worriers, Paranoia is so common among those I know, probably because I have an interest in preparedness. I am not an extremest though, and today I finally, for the first time, realize why I am not an extreme preparedness person. Our pastor was talking about the pit, where Joseph was thrown in by his brothers and how we react to being in the pit.

There were a few ways he cited that we handle the pit.

1. The Pit? What Pit? I do NOT claim this pit
2. The pit and I are one.
3. I am in this pit and Its my destiny.
4. I am in this pit and its my ministry.

Well, he showed examples of all of them, the one that got my goat the best was this is my ministry, Yes, our trials do play a part in our ministry, but goodness, make sure that pit isn't the one in control, make sure you are coming OUT of the pit. Just as Joseph didn't stay in that pit, don't make it your ministry of misery. You are not helping anyone by being down all the time, when you are engulfed in a fury of worry, you become very lonely and afraid to be out. You are miserable, and make those around you miserable as well. Last time I checked, I serve a God this is Greater than my problems.

Telling Satan to leave you alone eggs him on to keep attacking more, instead verbalize that GOD will bring you through this trial as he has others, and you will be victorious through Jesus Christ. He is the ONLY one that has that kind of power. And he alone controls our destiny.

Why I don't plan on Working from Home

Ok, I don't get it, is there something wrong with being a stay at home mom? I have a full time Job, I am a Teacher, a Maid, a Cook, a Nurse, a Nanny....oh I could go on and on, but I wont. My job works me nearly 18 hours a day on a good day, heaven forbid BUG or DH get really sick, which then nets me LOTS of overtime. I don't have time to GO to work, nor do I have time to look for other work.
Money? You say, what about the money? Well God has always provided for our needs, even when I couldn't see how, he was still there providing exactly what we needed and then some. See, we live a luxurious life, we have two and a half vehicles (one is dead waiting to be donated to charity) We own a home, although its not paid off yet, it is ours, We have lovely Christian Satellite TV all of our bills are paid, we may not have extras left over, but we are definitely not poor.
I have thought about doing a home business before, but that would take away from my other responsibilities. My take, if your needs are met, you don't need a work from home job just as you don't need a work away from home job. If you do need it, chances are, you just may be spending more than you need to, so take the time, when finances are tight and evaluate needs versus wants...make sure you are totally honest with yourself, and re prioritize.

Peace at Last

What is Peace?
According to Merriam Webster
Main Entry: peace
Function:
noun: a state of tranquillity or quiet: as a : a state of security or order within a community provided for by law or custom b : freedom from civil disturbance.

So Peace is basically quiet security. I haven't had a lot of peace in my life lately, it seems that challenges are magnetically attracted to me, for what reason, I would love to comprehend, but that is not for me to understand at this time.
Currently I am seeking Peace, there are many decisions that I need the security in knowing that I am making the right choice.
So while limiting my time with distractions, I have been focusing more on being a better Wife and Mother...the two callings that are most important to me at this time. The phone has been turned off while I spend time focusing on being a parent during the day, the messengers as well as they hold me captive to my computer, keeping me from enjoying the job that God gave me.

Bug has really enjoyed the peace in our home the last few days as well, Today she even put an ENTIRE US puzzle together, matching names and locations to the box, ok, so she is 5, she doesn't know where all the states go on her own, but this is a great way for her to learn. We both are enjoying the time together and having fewer and fewer battles in the home.
DH, the darling is also enjoying me not being so distracted all the time. We have missed each other due to an avalanche of complaints coming from both of us about life in general.

Matthew 12:34b says....out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
What is your overflow saying? As for this house, we are watching what comes out of our mouth so that it will please Christ, and no more be edifying the devil.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Today's Theme Verse:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.

Many many times today have I repeated those two verses. So full of meaning, but do we really trust that God is ultimately the one in control of our lives, or do we try to hold on to control of what happens.
Day in and Day out, I pray that He has control in my life, sometimes I try to grab that control back, but thankfully, he always reminds me who is in control and who is boss.
I try to pass this lesson on to Bug because she has that incredible need to be in control right now, so often when I remind her that its Mom's job to remain the head of whats going on at home, God gently (or not so gently when I need that good hard Thump on the forehead) reminds me that just as I am to be in control in her day to day that he is in control of my day to day.
Thank God that he is a Father figure, and he is as gentle as he can be to get the point across.